When illness strikes spirituality comes to the fore
By Karen Dabrowska, London, UK
I thought I was on the pig’s back: at 69 I had an advanced belt in tai chi, was going to four, two-hour classes a week, walked for an hour to two without any problem, ate a healthy diet most of the time, my weight was fine. I believed I was doing well for my age.
Then after one Tuesday tai chi class I felt ill, headache, nausea something was definitely wrong. Took myself off to A &E and was told nothing to worry about, it’s a non specific viral infection. I should have asked for a blood test but I went home and took paracetamol as advised believing the infection would go away. Well that’s what they told me in the hospital.
But something was definitely not right. The headache got worse, I was weak and dizzy. Asked my flat mate to cook my dinner. And I slept most of the day for four days. By Saturday I could hardly stand up. Dragged myself to A & E again in the early hours of the morning. “Why did you come so early?” the receptionist asked. “Can you come back later?”
I was not coming back later and I insisted on a blood test. The doctor looked worried. Your infection marker is 333. “You need a scan.” AI told me an infection marker of 33 was sepsis level. The scan revealed a badly infected gall bladder – or so the doctors believed. They said the best solution was to remove the gall bladder as it was a largely redundant organ.
My intuition rebelled against this. Was I really so ill? But the pain was increasing despite the pain killers, the intravenous antibiotics didn’t seem to be making much difference. It was Sunday morning. The doctor came with the consent form for the operation. When you are in enough pain you will sign anything. I signed. It later transpired that the infection came from the kidneys and there was no need to remove the gall bladder. What is done cannot be undone, it was a genuine mistake I concluded philosophically.
The surgery was scheduled for a time when there was a vacant slot, when there were no knife attack victims to deal with.
I lay in a pleasant room, almost like a hotel room, in a comfortable bed and looked outside at the blue sky and green trees. It was April and winter was turning to spring. I closed my eyes and tried to meditate. The endless flood of thoughts was reduced to a stream. “Stay in the present moment,” I told myself. And the present moment was idyllic.
It was a time for reflection. An infection marker of 333 – it seemed like a calling card from the yamadutas. A wake up call, a call to put my house in order, to update my will to tweak
my diet and to make the lifestyle changes which would – hopefully- ensure there was not another visit to A &E and a visit from Lord Yama himself.
The surgery went well but the recovery was slow. Tiredness, no carrying shopping, Rest to make sure the wound healed. But in the rest came peace and stillness, the stillness that comes from just being quiet with oneself and the outside view of the expansive sky with no beginning and no end.
A time to reflect to come to terms with my mortality. I won’t be there forever. A time to remember the quote from Etienne de Grellet: “I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
A time to put my house in order for the day when I close my eyes for ever in this mortal realm, a time to update the will and a time to say a friendly “hello” to the people who have lit up my life and accompanied me on life’s journey through the rough and the smooth. And a time to come to terms with the fact that there will still be some things left undone, some dreams not fulfilled but to leave with no regrets.
This life is but one journey, a continuation of many journeys on the cycles of birth, death and rebirth. At the end of this cycle I think I can sing Frank Sanatra’s song I did it my way for when I face the final curtain: and mean every word:
My friends I will say it clear
And I will state my case of which I am certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I travelled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
About the author:
Hindumitra Karen Dabrowska lives in London, UK. She first became interested in Sanatana Dharma in 2020 after reading Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. In 2022 she visited Babaji’s cave where Yogananda’s master was initiated into kriya yoga. She found India an enchanting, fascinating and welcoming country which she has been visiting twice a year since 2022. She then visited Rishikesh and in it the Vasishtha Cave home of Vasishtha one of the seven immortal saints. In February 2025 she felt it to be a great honor to go to the kumbh mela a very personal spiritual experience shared with millions of people. In her own words "I felt I was part of one gigantic family and we all embarked on a pilgrimage together."
In 2023 she listened to a talk at Laxmi Narayan Temple in West London by Hindumitra Dr Malladi Srinivasa Sastry, founder of Hindumitra Foundation, and was inspired by his clear presentation of the concepts of Sanatana Dharma. The talk was a condensed version of his ten-lesson course “Bring out the best in you – the Sanatana Dharma way” which she studied online. She kept in touch with Dr Malladi by email and WhatsApp and when he heard that she was planning to visit south India in January this year she was invited to Visakhapatnam to see the activities of Hindumitra. There was a fascinating visit to Dimili village where young people gave a performance of traditional dancing and art forms. Hindumitra is keen to promote the preservation of cultural traditions. She also took part in a major Hindumitra event with the theme the world is one family in Visakhapatnam public library where Hindumitra Karen ji spoke about her spiritual journey with Sanatana dharma. The programme attended by over 100 people was very full with a discussion about Hindu parenting and folk culture performances and demonstrations. Residing in UK, Hindumitra Karen ji actively contributes to the spiritual work of Hindumitra and is currently attending weekly classes on Bhagavatam by Hindumitra Dr. Malladi Srinivasa Sastry.
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