Deepening Self-Awareness: Challenges Along the Inner Journey

From Mental Stillness to Dhārmika Living

Why do we face challenges in reaching the depths of our journey of self-awareness? Why does something that once came naturally become increasingly difficult as life progresses? And how do we understand and overcome these challenges without abandoning the responsibilities we have undertaken?

I would like to reflect on these questions through my own experiences and my understanding of Sanātana Dharma.

My Journey — From Stillness to Responsibilities

Looking back, I feel that I was possibly at my best in developing self-awareness when I was much younger. There were times when I literally had no thoughts, and my mind remained still for long periods. Meditation came naturally to me. I could sit quietly without much effort, and that stillness was a familiar part of my life. This continued even after I was married and began earning money.

The various Sāṃsārika Bandhanas—the responsibilities and attachments associated with worldly life—gradually became part of my life as I entered the Gṛhastha Āśrama.

For the first time, I began thinking seriously about saving and investing money, buying a house, buying insurance, taking loans , saving for future needs, and fulfilling the responsibilities that naturally come with family life. I do not recall ever returning to the same degree of mental stillness that I experienced before entering the Gṛhastha phase. Even today, I find that I am unable to sit in meditation for long periods. More importantly, I do not feel the same natural inclination to sit in meditation as I did when I was younger.

But there is an important distinction here. It is not that I have lost interest in spirituality or in discovering the Self. What has changed is how my twenty-four hours are occupied. I continue to work full-time. Alongside my professional responsibilities, I spend considerable time preparing content and organising activities for what I consider a Dhārmika renaissance—promoting Saṃskṛtam, Sanātana Dharma, and Samājam through education, cultural activities, and social welfare.

Over the last two decades, I have learnt the art of compartmentalising my time. I have been able to accommodate my Gṛhastha responsibilities, professional work, and my commitment to society. In a way, my twenty-four hours are being used effectively.

Yet I have come to recognise that I have not created sufficient space for meditation and personal reflection. What has remained true throughout these changing circumstances is my foundational approach of staying connected with the Self.

Over the years, I have also come to understand the role of Dharma and its complexities, particularly the apparent tension between the idealism of Sāttvika spirituality and the realism of Rājasika Laukika Dharma Vyavahāra—the practical demands of worldly life. Thankfully, I feel I have not succumbed to Tāmasika slumber. I have continued to remain active, purposeful, and committed to what I consider meaningful work. But activity, however meaningful, does not automatically provide the stillness needed for deeper contemplation.

This is where I find myself today.

When Dhārmika Responsibilities Compete with Personal Sādhana

There is an interesting challenge here. Many of the activities that occupy my time are not distractions from Dharma. They are undertaken precisely because of my commitment to Dharma. Working for Saṃskṛtam, Sanātana Dharma, and social welfare gives me a sense of purpose. These activities are expressions of my understanding of Svadharma. Yet they compete for the same limited time that I would otherwise devote to meditation, physical wellbeing, and personal reflection.

Does this mean that Dhārmika activity can itself become an obstacle to personal Sādhana?

Perhaps, if we do not consciously maintain a balance. I have already made some adjustments. For example, I walk 2.5 kilometres home from work every day to ensure that I get some physical exercise. Rather than looking for an entirely separate period for exercise, I have incorporated walking into my existing daily routine.

But I recognise that I need to do more.

Just as I have learnt to compartmentalise my time for Gṛhastha Dharma, professional responsibilities, and social welfare, I must now consciously allocate time for meditation, physical exercise, and personal reflection. This is a challenge that I should overcome, and I recognise that I need to work towards it.

There is another, more recent challenge.

When I am exhausted after a long day, I sometimes turn to Netflix for relaxation. I also end up watching YouTube videos. Recreation is not necessarily wrong. But I have begun noticing something about my own behaviour. I am increasingly turning towards my smartphone almost automatically. These devices have become so enticing that reaching for the phone can become a habit even when there is no particular reason to use it. This observation itself has made me more conscious of how habits develop and how easily our attention can be drawn away. Recently, I began leaving my phone at home when going for an hour-long walk. It is a small step, but an important one for me.

I am beginning to recognise that the challenge is not always the absence of time. Sometimes, it is how we use the time available to us, how we allow habits to develop, and how consciously we make our choices.

This brings me to the broader question of what determines our capacity to deepen self-awareness and what can help us along the journey.

1. Svabhāva — Our Innate Disposition

The first important factor is Svabhāva—our innate disposition, temperament, and personality.

Each one of us is unique.

From the perspective of Sanātana Dharma, I understand Svabhāva as arising from that individual's unique combination of Guṇas influenced by Saṃskāras carried from previous lives and the circumstances and purpose of our present birth.

We are born into different circumstances—as men or women, into different families, communities, cultures, economic conditions, and environments. We may become scientists, labourers, office workers, teachers, professionals, or undertake any number of other occupations.

Some of these circumstances may be understood through the framework of Karma and previous Saṃskāras. Others are experienced as the immediate realities of our present life.

Our Svabhāva has a significant influence on our Svadharma—the duties and responsibilities that are appropriate to our nature and circumstances. Ideally, our occupation and responsibilities should be suited to our disposition. But life does not always allow such choices. Sometimes necessity determines what we must do, even when it does not naturally suit our personality. All these factors influence the opportunities available to us for developing deeper self-awareness.

They may determine how much time we have, the kind of mental state we experience, and even our natural inclination towards contemplation and meditation. In this sense, Svabhāva and the circumstances of life are among the factors least amenable to our immediate control.

However, recognising our Svabhāva is itself an important step.

2. Guru — Guidance Along the Inner Journey

The most ideal support in this journey is an enlightened Guru. A true Guru can understand the nature of the seeker, recognise the difficulties encountered along the way, and provide appropriate guidance towards Self-realisation. However, finding and accepting a living Guru does not happen naturally for everyone. Personally, I haven't found a living Guru yet to whom I have surrendered. This is not something I attribute to egoism. It is simply how my journey has unfolded. I have, however, found Gurutatva in many people, experiences, and teachings that I have encountered throughout my life. Wisdom can come to us through unexpected sources, provided we are receptive to it.

Those who are able to tune in to the nature around and absorb the natural wisdom should stay tuned to it and be true to themselves. Cosmos has a way to communicate with you directly if youa re able to recieve its transmission.

Over a period of time I accepted Śrī Nārada Maharṣi as my Guru. His selfless approach to the spread of Sanatana Dharma, universal love towards all, teachings, particularly through the Nārada Bhakti Sūtras, have had a meaningful influence on my understanding of Bhakti, Satsaṅga, and spiritual living.

An enlightened Guru is undoubtedly a great blessing. But when such direct guidance is not available, the seeker need not abandon the journey. The teachings of the Ṛṣis remain available to us through the scriptures. This brings us to Svādhyāya.

3. Svādhyāya — Learning, Reflecting, and Living the Knowledge

Svādhyāya, the disciplined study of sacred knowledge, is an essential means of developing self-awareness. When we do not have access to a living Guru, we can turn to the scriptures that have guided seekers for generations. These may be the recognised scriptures of Sanātana Dharma or other sincere enquiries directed towards understanding Absolute Truth.

What matters is the earnest pursuit of Truth. These teachings are powerful. Gradually, they can help us refine our understanding and tune ourselves towards that sacred cosmic reality of oneness.

However, reading alone is insufficient. Svādhyāya should become a regular part of daily life, accompanied by reflection and practice. The traditional process of Śravaṇa, Manana, and Nididhyāsana is particularly relevant.

Śravaṇa involves attentive listening to or studying the teaching.

Manana involves reflecting upon what has been learnt, examining it carefully, and resolving doubts.

Nididhyāsana involves sustained contemplation through which the understanding becomes deeply assimilated.

The ultimate purpose is not merely to acquire knowledge but to allow that knowledge to transform how we think, behave, make decisions, and relate to others. We should ask ourselves whether what we have learnt is reflected in our daily conduct.

• Has it made us more compassionate? More objective? More disciplined? More capable of recognising our attachments, assumptions, and limitations?

• Does it help us remain connected with the Self even while engaged in worldly responsibilities?

This is where Svādhyāya becomes a living practice rather than an intellectual exercise.

4. Choosing the Appropriate Yogic Path

Sanātana Dharma offers different approaches towards spiritual development. Among them are Karma Yoga, Jñāna Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, and Dhyāna Yoga. Our Svabhāva plays an important role in determining which approach may suit us naturally.

A person inclined towards intellectual enquiry may find Jñāna Yoga particularly appealing. Another may find spiritual fulfilment through Karma Yoga—performing duties and serving others without attachment to personal rewards. Someone with a deeply devotional temperament may find Bhakti Yoga the most natural approach. Others may be drawn towards meditation and contemplation through Dhyāna Yoga.

If our personality does not naturally suit the path of Jñāna or prolonged meditation, we need not become frustrated. We should humbly recognise our nature and adopt the approach most suitable to us.

These paths need not be mutually exclusive. They can complement one another. A person may perform Karma Yoga through professional work and service, practise Bhakti through devotion, engage in Svādhyāya and Jñāna through enquiry, and cultivate stillness through meditation.

In the Vivekacūḍāmaṇi, traditionally attributed to Ādi Śaṅkarācārya, Bhakti is described as “Bhaktireva garīyasī”—the greatest among the means to liberation, understood in the context of contemplation of the Self. For most seekers, Bhakti is a particularly accessible and powerful path towards the Divine. Bhakti can take many forms—Bhajans, Nāmasaṅkīrtana, constant remembrance (Smaraṇa), Kathāśravaṇa such as listening to the Śrīmad Bhāgavatam, worship, selfless service, and surrender.

The essential point is that we should not assume that everyone must follow the same spiritual discipline in the same manner. What matters is sincerity, commitment, and progress towards the ultimate goal.

Nevertheless, I must also recognise something about my own situation. The fact that I am actively engaged in Dhārmika work does not mean that I should neglect meditation. My present challenge is not necessarily to discover an entirely new path but to restore an appropriate place for personal contemplation within the life I am already leading.

5. Satsaṅga — The Company That Sustains Our Journey

Satsaṅga is another important means of deepening self-awareness. It should become a regular part of our lives. By Satsaṅga, I mean the company of right-minded people who come together with a sincere commitment to spiritual growth and Dhārmika living.

• Such people do not gather merely to display knowledge or engage in endless arguments.

• They speak when necessary, listen attentively, and demonstrate compassion, courage, humility, and steadfastness in their commitment to Dharma.

• Their presence can help us remain connected with our own spiritual aspirations.

  
  

Nārada Maharṣi places great importance on the company of genuine devotees and spiritual seekers.

We should value such associations and not let go of them easily.

Satsaṅga may take different forms. It may be a Dhyāna Satsaṅga, where people gather for meditation and contemplation. It may be a Bhakti Satsaṅga, where Bhajans are sung wholeheartedly, without an ounce of Lajjā—without unnecessary inhibition or self-consciousness.

• We should be able to open ourselves, free ourselves from the constant demands of social identity, and rejoice in the sacred atmosphere.

• Such wholehearted participation can bring deep absorption and a sense of oneness, directing us towards the spiritual ideal of Samādhi.

Satsaṅga is not merely another activity to be fitted into an already busy schedule. It is an opportunity to renew our spiritual orientation, learn from others, and sustain the motivation needed for our inner journey. In a life filled with competing demands, the right company can help us remember what truly matters.

6. The Challenge of Translating Self-Awareness into Action

Reflecting on all these factors, I have come to recognise another important aspect of self-awareness.

It is one thing to know what is good for us. It is another to consistently practise it. I know the value of meditation. I know the importance of physical exercise, personal reflection, and a disciplined routine. I also recognise the importance of my professional responsibilities, family commitments, and work for Dharma and society.

• The challenge is not a lack of understanding.

• It is how to accommodate all these within the twenty-four hours available to me.

  
  

Over the years, I have developed considerable discipline in organising my responsibilities. I have demonstrated to myself that compartmentalising time is possible. I now need to extend that discipline to personal Sādhana. My daily walk home from work is one practical example of how an important activity can be integrated into an existing routine. Leaving my smartphone at home during a walk is another example of consciously addressing a habit that I have begun to recognise. These may appear to be small changes, but they are meaningful. They demonstrate that self-awareness must lead to discernment, decision, and action.

The Bhagavadgītā offers an important reminder:

युक्ताहारविहारस्य युक्तचेष्टस्य कर्मसु ।

युक्तस्वप्नावबोधस्य योगो भवति दुःखहा ॥

Yuktāhāravihārasya yuktaceṣṭasya karmasu

Yuktasvapnāvabodhasya yogo bhavati duḥkhahā.

— Bhagavadgītā 6.17

The verse emphasises moderation and balance in food, recreation, activity, sleep, and wakefulness as essential to the practice of Yoga.

I find this particularly relevant. A disciplined spiritual life is not necessarily one in which worldly responsibilities disappear. It is one in which we learn to regulate our activities and maintain an appropriate balance. This is easier to understand than to practise. But that is precisely why conscious effort is necessary to put the understadning into practise.

7. Continuing the Journey

When I look back at my younger years, I remember the natural stillness of my mind. Today, my life is different. My responsibilities have increased, my activities have expanded, and my understanding of Dharma has become more complex. I have learnt much through professional work, family life, scriptural study, and service to society. But I cannot claim that my ability to enter meditative stillness has improved. In fact, I recognise that it has diminished.

I do not wish to dismiss this merely by saying that I have become more spiritually mature or that my Dhārmika activities are a substitute for meditation. That would not be an accurate reflection of my experience. Instead, I recognise it as a challenge that I need to address. I must find a way to bring meditation and personal reflection back into my daily life without neglecting the responsibilities I have undertaken. At the same time, I recognise that the journey of self-awareness does not depend upon meditation alone.

Understanding Svabhāva, fulfilling Svadharma, seeking guidance, practising Svādhyāya, choosing suitable Yogic disciplines, and participating in Satsaṅga are all important aspects of this journey. The challenge is to integrate them into our lives with sincerity and discipline.

Perhaps the most important lesson I draw from my own experience is that self-awareness does not automatically guarantee that we will always do what we know is right or beneficial. It helps us recognise where we stand, what has changed, what we may have neglected, and what needs to be done. We must then act upon that understanding.

The journey towards deeper self-awareness is not free from responsibilities, competing priorities, distractions, or habits. It is a journey in which we learn to recognise these influences and consciously work towards overcoming the obstacles they create.

I have not reached the depths of self-awareness that I aspire to attain. But I remain committed to the journey. And perhaps that commitment—to continue enquiring, recognising, correcting, and progressing—is itself an essential part of living a life directed towards The Absolute Truth- The Sat - The Stretch Goal.

By: Dr. Malladi Srinivasa Sastry

Founder. Sohamvidya