Marriage – The Foundation of Gṛhastha Āśrama

Marriage in Sanātana Dharma is not merely a personal arrangement or a social convenience. It is a sacred saṁskāra that establishes the Gṛhastha āśrama, the very axis upon which individual life, family continuity, and social stability revolve. Through marriage, life is consciously aligned with dharma, enabling the harmonious pursuit of the four puruṣārthas—dharma, artha, kāma, and mokṣa.

Among the four āśramas, the Gṛhastha alone directly supports the others—Brahmacarya, Vānaprastha, and Sannyāsa—through material sustenance, social order, and moral continuity. Hence, the householder’s role is not secondary but central.

Marriage Vows and Dharmic Responsibility

The depth of this responsibility is clearly reflected in the Vaidika marriage mantras.

At the time of kanyādāna, the bride’s father declares to the groom:

“In fulfilling your puruṣārthas, you shall not violate her role, dignity, and well-being.”

The groom responds with a solemn vow:

“I shall not violate.”

This exchange establishes a crucial dharmic principle: the pursuit of personal goals must never come at the cost of relational responsibility. Dharma regulates artha and kāma, ensuring that ambition and desire remain aligned with ethical restraint.

In the Saptapadī, the seven sacred steps taken together, marriage is defined not as domination or dependence, but as companionship and shared responsibility. The groom declares:

“Dear wife, we shall be friends.I shall never abandon your friendship.We shall eat together, think together,decide together, live together,and enjoy the legitimate pleasures of life together.”

The bride affirms each step with “We shall.”

Friendship (sakhya), cooperation, and mutual trust are thus placed at the heart of married life.

Dharma as the Sustaining Force of Family Life

Couples who remain rooted in dharma find that marriage becomes a source of inner stability rather than emotional turbulence. Such families are not immune to difficulties, but they face prosperity and adversity with relative equanimity.

Gradually, a deeper realization dawns:

“My family is my priority. In my family’s welfare lies my own welfare.”

This is not self-negation, but expanded self-identity, where individual well-being is inseparable from collective harmony.

Symbolism in the Telugu Vaidika Wedding

In a traditional Telugu wedding following the Vaidika sampradāya, the rituals convey profound metaphysical truths through symbolic acts.

The screen separating the bride and groom represents Māyā, the principle that creates the perception of separateness. The groom symbolizes Paramātma, and the bride symbolizes Jīvātma—not as two realities, but as one consciousness appearing distinct due to conditioning and karma.

The Muhūrta: Union Beyond the Physical

The marriage muhūrta occurs when the couple places jeelakarra (cumin) and bellam (jaggery) paste upon each other’s brahmarandhra and then look into each other’s eyes. Jeelakarra represents individuality and multiplicity; jaggery represents sweetness and binding unity. Their union symbolizes the harmonization of individuality within togetherness.

This act signifies the conscious intention to rise above ego-centered living and enter a shared life of responsibility, affection, and spiritual alignment. The instruction to look into each other’s eyes reflects recognition—“I acknowledge myself in you.”

Procreation as a Sacred Duty

One of the primary responsibilities of the Gṛhastha āśrama is procreation, not merely as a biological function, but as a dharmic obligation. Through responsible parenthood, the householder ensures the continuity of society, culture, and values.

Śāstra views children not as possessions, but as trusts entrusted by Dharma. The purpose of procreation is not lineage alone, but the birth of physically healthy, emotionally stable, ethically grounded, and spiritually inclined individuals.

Hence, marriage is designed to create a stable and nurturing environment where:

• children experience security and affection,

• moral values are demonstrated through lived example,

• discipline is balanced with compassion,

• and spirituality is woven naturally into daily life.

Parents become the first gurus, shaping character long before formal education begins.

Raising Children as a Dharmic Yajña

In Sanātana Dharma, parenting is considered a continuous yajña—a sacred offering performed through daily acts of care, instruction, and self-sacrifice. Food, education, protection, emotional guidance, and ethical instruction are all offerings made into this living fire.

Children raised in such an environment learn:

• self-restraint by observation,

• compassion through experience,

• dharma through practice, not preaching.

A household anchored in dharma naturally becomes a training ground for responsible citizens, capable of contributing positively to society.

Seperation, but not Divorce, is compatible with Sanatana Dharma

Divorce, as it is understood in the modern legal sense, is not a central or encouraged concept in classical Sanātana Dharma. Marriage (vivāha) is treated as a sacrament (saṁskāra) rather than a contract. Once performed, it is ideally meant to be lifelong and indissoluble, oriented toward dharma, prajñā (values), progeny, and spiritual growth. This intent is evident in the marriage vows themselves, especially the Saptapadī, after which the marriage becomes irrevocably binding according to dharmaśāstra tradition.

सप्तपदी भवति मित्रंBy the seven steps, one becomes an eternal companion.

Thus, permanence—not conditionality—is the foundational assumption.

Sanātana Dharma does not promote divorce, but neither does it mandate endless suffering. It expects:

• seriousness before marriage,

• responsibility within marriage,

• compassion and wisdom when marriage fails.

Marriage is meant to be worked through, not walked away from, but when staying becomes adharmic, disengagement may become the lesser wrong.

This nuanced understanding preserves the sanctity of marriage without denying human dignity—which is the hallmark of Sanātana Dharma.

Handing over the guardianship of marriage as per Sanātana Dharma to the legal system was not only naive but an unwise thing as it is clear that divorce is an alien concept which is tearing apart the very foundational fabric of what a society should be according to Sanātana Dharma.

Aspect	Sanātana Dharma View	Modern Hindu Marriage
Nature of marriage	Saṁskāra (sacrament)	Contract
Primary goal	Dharma & progeny	Personal fulfillment
Divorce	Not compatible	Institutionalized
Separation	Allowed if all efforts failed	Routine
Decision basis	Social & ethical duty	Individual choice

Marriage as the Living Foundation of Society

Thus, marriage in the Gṛhastha āśrama is not merely for companionship or pleasure. It is the primary institution through which life is generated, values are transmitted, and society is sustained.

When marriage is rooted in dharma:

• children grow into balanced individuals,

• families become units of emotional and ethical strength,

• and society remains resilient across generations.

In this way, the Gṛhastha āśrama stands as the visible expression of dharma in action—quietly sustaining both the spiritual aspirations of individuals and the collective well-being of humanity.

With the aim of organically incorporating spiritual principles of Sanātana Dharma into holistic wellness, Sohamvidya is working towards setting up Sanātana Dharma pre-marital counselling for parents and prospective couples so that expectations, roles, responsibilities, and values are clearly understood before marriage, enabling stable families, healthy parenting, and the sustained practice of dharma across generations.

This chapter is part of the upcoming book by Dr. Malladi Srinivasa Sastry titled "Bring our the best in you - The Sanatana Dharma way"